you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
