It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
