smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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