We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
