Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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