that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
