Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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