My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
