did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
