based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
