dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
