I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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