i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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