There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
