I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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