Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize