The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
