So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
