Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
