In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
