thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
