told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want nice things and good sex
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
