Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
