happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Randomize
