No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
