The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
