She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
