You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm always down for nudity.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
