Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize