i already hear my dad disowning me
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
