I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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