I want to walk on stilts...naked
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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