The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
