ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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