When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
