She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
