8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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