he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
