Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
