drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
