Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can feel your judgement through the phone
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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