Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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