So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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