How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
