Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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