what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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