well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
