god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
