I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
