Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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