PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
