Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Drake has all the answers
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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