it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
