I think i peed on brittanys purse
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
