im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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