btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
