She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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