honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
