used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
