i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Damn victory sex feels great
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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