if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize