If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
