I cockslap morals
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
