is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
My feet surprised me
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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