just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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