Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
