Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
