We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
