The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
