i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize