Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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